watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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