Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.

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(561): View more from Florida

I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love

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(845): View more from New York

Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.

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(575): View more from New Mexico

I have a broken liver

(1-575): View more from New Mexico

I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.

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(773): View more from Illinois

Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.

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(208): View more from Idaho

As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.

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