ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
