Already got asked if we're dating
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
