Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
