I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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