Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
so let's talk penis.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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