The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
