sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
