So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize