fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
