I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
