you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize