Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
