Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
