just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
