Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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