so that wasnt chicken after all
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
