I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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