I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
You were trust falling into bushes
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
