and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Someone came in the potted fern
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
