No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
