Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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