he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
