Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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