My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize