Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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