I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
