but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
