Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
