I'm really into asian looking animals
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Randomize
