the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
