i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
