Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Randomize