Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
