I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Randomize
