At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
