Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
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