P.S. I can't hear my feet
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
