I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
