She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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