Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
