you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
