Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
