she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Randomize
