If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Randomize