So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
