I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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