is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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