So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I smell like Dick and happiness
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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