I am puke
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Your penis caused this!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
