I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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