The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
It's blow job season.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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