I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize