Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
