theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
