u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
