I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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