she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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