I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
