Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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