Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize