i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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