i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
