i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
